Without wanting to sound arrogant and boastful but plainly assertive, I want to mention that the introduction of Loganathan and Sivakumar's Baum Test is the most important event in psychology in recent times.
It has made the scientific investigations of the unconscious possible within the framework of hermeneutic science, the science most suited to study the human mind. With this we also recover the very ancient and essentially Eastern Psychological Tradition that UNDERSTANDS even the religious experiences of mankind as belonging to the field of hermeneutic science and thus snatching it away from the clutches of vainglorious and often arrogant theologians.
Now we have a tool to UNDERSTAND the human being, bring about an UNDERSTANDING of SELF that is free of propaganda , indoctrination and induction into one's own petty ideologies and theologies. Certainly it is slow in catching up but definite progress is being made if the number of people who have begun to appreciate the enormous relevance of Loganathan and Sivakumar's Baum Test is anything to go by at all.
In this paper I want to describe an encounter I had and the insights I gained about a young woman well on her way towards becoming a lesbian. I have met a number of homosexuals, lesbians and transvestites but this young woman was outstanding in her stubbornness and the challenges she presented to me as a counselor.
When she came to see me, I immediately noticed that 'she' is a man but in a female body, something she very much loathes. There was an attendant boldness, lack of gentleness, softness etc. As I gave her the test and later related to her the meanings, more and more of her personality unfolded itself and as she started to tell me the biographic details, I began to understand the origins of her dilemmas better. The Baums in LSBT she drew were as follows:
Baum A: A tree of average size with regularly and symmetrically placed branches on either side without any natural looking leaves or fruits but with circles, squares and triangles with sizes suitable to pass off for leaves and fruits.
Baum B. The trunk is clear but cone-like. The crown is also cone shaped with zigzag contours with small branches breaking into sub-branches, sticking out on either side the trunk. More branches on the right side than the left. The tip is very cloudy with circular lines all over.
Baum C. This Baum was the strangest. Two LINGAMS in the shape of thumbs, the one on the left slightly larger than the one on the right. The larger one also has a creeper with round leaves and fruits climbing over it. The one on the right is left bare, with no decorations. at all. Both are drawn almost at the bottom.
Baum D. Just a sea anemone-like figure drawn almost at the bottom of the page.
The meanings are as follows:
'A' represents her happy past , her school days in which she was very active and had a lot of friends. However the recent past, as disclosed in B shows her as a very aggressive and masculine with definite lesbian tendencies. She finds herself admiring and dreaming about some of her feminine looking friends and because of which she became very unpopular. Her friends talked ill of her and kept themselves away from her, unwilling to become partners to her lesbian advances. This in turn made her very miserable as indicated by the dark clouds at the tip of the crown and which in fact made her come and see me.
The Baum C is definitely very advanced growth of masculine tendencies in her and which makes her pine for female company, love and even sexual relationships using some modern gadgetry which are available in the shopping complexes. The Baum D is a dream image, swimming in dirty waters with disease bringing sea-anemones.
As I related to her the meanings, she gradually admitted her strong lesbian tendencies and the kind of problems she is facing because of that. It is true that her friends have deserted her and she has not met anyone who is willing to love her in the lesbian. fashion. One hopeful candidate also abandoned her saying that it is very unnatural and she is not prepared to go along with it. In fact she had told her that it was disgusting and a sickness of a kind which made her very very miserable and made wonder why all these problems for in life.
She came for counseling, NOT TO LISTEN to me but to get confirmation that she is in the right and that she is NOT abnormal etc. as her friends are telling her directly and indirectly. She understands her lesbian nature and wants to live with it as such and if she cannot find a partner to share her love, she is prepared to spend the rest of her life in loneliness hoping one day someone will respond positively. But I told her that her Baum D means a life of sickness and that if she pursues her desires without amending it , she may end up a very sick person suffering from all kinds of infectious diseases. But she wouldn't listen and in fact she told me that she will NEVER draw the yantras- the alchemical diagrams -- as prescribed for her to bring out the feminine side of her. She is happy as she is and she doesn't want to be feminine at all. It is at this point that the secret came out. Right from the day she was born, it turned out that both her father and mother loathed her for being a girl. The parents were happy only with the boys and her presence was not at all recognized. She was not shown any love at all and was considered a burden, something that was made very clear to herself also. Worst still was when she had a quarrel with her brothers, she was always chided and scolded by the parents even when she was in the right. The worst was she was bullied and insulted severely by her brothers and she was totally helpless against them. She could not fight back for her rights because she knew that whatever it is, her parents will justify her brothers and NOT her. Thus one day in her early teens, unable to contain anymore all these miseries, she locked herself up inside a store room and came out after several hours with a new determination. Henceforth she will ignore her parents and brothers , establish a psychic fissure with them and redouble her efforts in her studies so that would become an independent person.
But unfortunately and unconsciously, it was this decision that made her to develop the MASCULINE side of her and bury deep down the feminine and which after ten years or so has made her what she is today.
Ullaganar
Former lecturer, University Science Malaysia.
Edited by Ari Marappan.
Note by the editor: The following question was posed to Ullaganar and his answer:
Dear Bala,
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