Disconstructing Tat Twam Asi
We have noticed that we are infected with TIME in our existence and that we are both I-T, intentional-temporality and P-T physical-temporality. But the new insight we have wrested out in our hermeneutic reflections is that the famous Tat Twam Asi is in fact an oblique way of putting the IT dimensions of existence and where it is more fundamental than PT the physical temporality in the sense that once IT is no more there would be no more also PT.
But we can disconstruct IT only if we disconstruct our INTENTIONAL way of Being, a way of Being where we continuously search for this and that, get pushed hither and thither, be pulled here and there etc. Disconstructing INTENTIONALITY requires that we BECOME non-intentional or as it is said in Indian circles, attain the state of "desirelessness", the PaRRu aRRaan PaRRu of ThirukkuRaL. Where we attain this state of Being, there is no IT and hence no PT as well. And hence NO TIME at all. It is a state of Being of the self where understanding exists as the understanding of a self but without TIME and because of which it is Absolute , the civacattu of Meykandar, Civanjanam or simply the Jnanam of Nyanasambantar that he distinguishes from maRainjanam, the scriptural understanding and puts above it.
And that it is TIMELESS also means the language , the ordinary vaikari type with syntax as constituted by Verb Phrases and Noun phrases becomes IMPOSSIBLE for without the notion of time, such linguistic structures are just impossible. One cannot simply SPEAK and hence in enjoying the Nyanam, one can only be Deeply Silent, hold oneself in the
famous Mouna Muttirai.
But does this mean that COMMUNICATION ceases to be?
No , I do not think so. My Deep Silence and the Posture I assume during those precious moments are in fact communicative. But I can be more specific here by assuming the posture Cin Muttirai, with hand gestures of a special sort where through gestures I communicate something profound and deep but without speaking. In enjoying the nyanam, the Absolute Understanding, my tongues are locked up but NOT by body and the hands. They begin to speak nonverbally and communicate something that even scriptural languages cannot communicate.
My language has been, I notice now, both verbal and nonverbal or the bodily, the language of Mudras. Now at this final state of Being, verbal language drops out leaving me only with the nonverbal, the bodily!!
Thus in disconstructing myself from INTENTIONALITY I disconstruct also from the hold of the scriptures, hence the hold of Brahma. Also the states of transductive perceptions, the aRituyil and hence also the world of Vishnu. I must learn the scriptures with the help of Brahma and having done that transcend that world and enter that of Vishnu. And having learnt all that I have to in the world of transductive perceptions , transcend even that and go beyond the world of Vishnu, BEING-as--the- Manifest- World
But these fundamental discontructions : am I doing myself? That will be impossible for at this point we are NOT disconstructing one kind of intentionality and allow another to take over. Here in this ultimate disconstruction we are doing something more fundamental, more drastic -- disconstructing the intentional disposition itself, the KILLING of the Ego-Self itself. So it has to be something AGAINST my WILL , something done on me and by something else. But at this point only BEING remains as the ONE above Brahma, as the ONE above Vishnu and hence absolutely transcendent BEING, the ParaCivan.
This BEING, this ParaCivan ( or whatever name you may choose) is the one who disconstructs me and catapults me into the state of Being timeless, and hence experiencing everything non-temporically, as it is in itself, the CattaRivu of Meykandar. Because no temporality as a component of my understanding, there is only Cuunyam, a NOTHINGNESS as a that, just as Meykandar observed : cattu etir cuunyam
And I can progress in this only by allowing myself to be thus disconstructed by BEING by becoming willingly egoless and humble. I allow myself to be thus disconstructed without any resistance when I understand that BEING is LOVE and that I can TRUST Him absolutely. My Love develops into Bakthi and within Bakthi , I happily allow myself to be disconstructed continuously by BEING and in the way He sees fit.
I have NO CHOICE really for I am given to understand that "aadduvitaal aaroruvar aadaataaree?" the famous words of Appar: if played by BEING, who can refuse to play?
ULLAGANAR
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